Now, there are a few things that some of you should know before I go any further. 

1. I am not a competitive person. 

2. I start sweating when I am nervous. 

3. I am always hot, when other people are cold. 

4. I strongly dislike having my picture taken. 

5. I don't like the sound of my own voice on camera. 

6. When I am nervous I would rather not speak. 

7. I have never even thought about being on TV in my entire life. 

So, naturally when I was approached about this TV show I said yes. Because I had my head so far up my ass that day I could see my lungs. Because I seem to be few beers short of a six pack. Because I have a few screws loose. Or maybe because I am 100% home-grown certifiably organically, crazy. 

And here's the thing. I went anyway and it was weird, and scary, and terrifying and weird. 

This is what I learned...

1. I am still not a competitive person. But then, I don't like to lose either. Classic Virgo. 

2. Video cameras are, like, totally in your face when you are being filmed for TV.

3. Cooking on TV is nothing like cooking at home. 

4. I have a whole new respect for TV chefs. 

5. TV studio lighting is like a kabillion watts, and therefore makes even the coldest people really hot. Just think about that for a minute.

6. Having your cooking judged on a TV program is a lot like being the last person chosen for the dodgeball team, except twenty times worse.

7. Even when I'm really scared of something, I still do it. Because thats life. Because I am crazy. Please see above.  

To be continued....

We are joyous, it is sunny! We share some wine...

We are happy to put our toes in the grass again...

We cheer because the sun has finally come out...

We put the umbrella up to shield ourselves from the elements...since we are in England after all...

We continue the joyous celebration...

We eat summer pudding...

We throw football shaped things that our friends will never catch...and we strike a pose whilst doing it...

We think we can go anywhere...like to infinity...and beyond!...

And then because some of us did too much of this...

We did this.

And this. 

And then my camera ran out of battery. 

The end. 

I don't know about you but I could snarfle those little paws all day. Every day. 

Just in case you didn't know already...puppies love Converse. 

As if that wasn't cute overload...here's some big dog cuteness too. This is our friend's dog, she is called Kimba and just gorgeous beyond belief. I tried to put her in my handbag as we left but she's a bit too big for that. Plus, I think my friends might have a small problem with dognapping. 

And further to the pure unadulterated dog jealousy I am living with every day of my life, I figured I owe you a little update on the Taylor Doggie Drama situation...

Hubster has had phase one of the allergy testing. Its quite fascinating (and apparently very uncomfortable) as they place little tiny blobs of allergens on your skin, number them and tape them there for 48 hours. Apart from being uncomfortable and stinky (no showers) for two days, its a pretty amazing process. Jamie almost immediately reacted to a few of the allergens and we now know he is allergic to...drumroll...nickle, potassium dichromate, parabens, and cobalt. Huh?? That is, coins, keys, silverware, belt buckles, mustard, ketchup, jam, jell-o, tattoos, practically every cosmetic in the world, and doorhandles. Yes, really.

BUT NOT DOGS!! 

Ok, they haven't tested for pet dander yet.

I live in hope. 

Love, 

Desperately Seeking Doggie 

There are other BIG grown-up things we have to do that suck way more than the dishes, and we do them too, because that's what grown-ups do. We go to the difficult hospital appointments, we bury our friends, our family and our pets, we save our money, we apologize, and we forgive. We give birth and we die. We LIVE.

For all of the sweet in life, there is bittersweet and stinking sour in equal measure. 

Now as for me, I am no shining example of how best to deal with L.I.F.E., I usually do the following in order of appearance:

Go very quiet.

Think about it.

Get sad.

Get angry.

Cry.

Do it anyway. 

Eat. 

Repeat. 

So, here's what I want to know...How do YOU deal with the big piles of steaming poo that life dumps on your doorstep? Do you get your rubber gloves on, dispose of it and wash your hands of it immediately? Do you take a look at it, turn on your heel and walk swiftly in the opposite direction? Do you sweep it under the doormat and pretend its not there until the stench returns? I want to know what it is that gets you through all the really tough grown-up things. And just for the record, stomping your feet is perfectly acceptable. 

I anxiously await your methods, I feel I may have a lot to learn...

And with that I will be posting a very delicious cupcake recipe tomorrow, stay tuned, if you require cake as I often do (see above). 

Now, my dear sweet Hubby who I love more than dogs, for the record, is an allergic type of person. He doesn't hate dogs, but doesn't love 'em either. Well, let me put it this way, if it were cats I loved there wouldn't be a hope in hell. But dogs are not as high up on the allergic / hate scale and being the most thoughtful stand up kinda guy on the planet EVER, he wants me to be have everything I want. How could you not love him? Too bad, he's mine. 

Well, right now we live in an apartment and of course they have this completely ridiculous, totally unnecessary NO PETS ALLOWED rule. Rolling eyes.

In all honesty I've never been very good at following the rules, but in a freak bout of sensibility I rationalized that a dog can occasionally be a noisy kind of pet...so we got rats instead, 6 of 'em and I love them to pieces! Yes, really. They're not sewer rats people. They come from the pet store. Get over it.  I do love those little critters very much, but sadly its not satiated my need for a dog. The rats are pretty much only interested in me for the food. They never cuddle, and they really couldn't care less about going for walkies. But they do love fishing for peas and that my friends is incredibly cute. 

So going back to the dog debacle, this is the conversation we have been having every week for the past two years: 

Me: I want a dog soooooooooo bad. 

Him: I want a motorcycle sooooooooo bad. 

Me: No. Motorcycles. 

Him: No. Dogs. 

Me: Fine, get a (insert expletive) motorcycle. 

Him: You can have a dog when we don't have rats. We can have one pet in the house. This is a big deal for me. 

Me: This is a big deal for me too. 

Him: Fine. 

Me: Fine. 

Him: Want to watch a ninja movie? 

Me: No. Want to watch Sex in the City? 

Him: No. 

Me: I love you. 

Him: I love you too. 

(Hug) 

......on next week's episode, Audrey pushes for moving house to be one step closer to getting a dog. Stay tuned. 

Love, 

Gotta Get A Dog In Godalming

Disclaimer: Just before you start sending hate mail telling me I'm the worst wife in the world for wanting a dog when my husband has allergies. We plan on taking all the necessary steps to avoid him or the dog suffering. He will be allergy tested again, the dog will be washed twice weekly. We own a Hepa filter fitted Dyson. We use it a lot. There will be no dogs in the bedroom. And if it really does bother him, Hubs will just have to move out. Obviously. 

But the point is that I have been cooking in this kitchen for almost 3 years, that's a good chunk of the aforementioned baking escapades. And now that I am actually thinking about it, it was right about when we moved in that i started noticing a few weird things happening...Recipes that used to take 60 minutes in the oven, were taking much, much longer. Like 20 minutes sometimes! I had flat cookies more than once and there was a few epic fails that were meant to be scones.

Now we're tapping into my Virgo-ness here but I thought I had just lost my touch. That a dark cloud had rolled in and pissed all over my culinary skills. Not only that, but it showed no signs of letting up.

Finally, after many kitchen towels thrown in frustration, feet stomped and shouty shouty moments while my poor husband watched in fear from sidelines, it dawned on me that just maybe, perhaps, on the off chance, I should find out what sort of temperature calibration my oven has. Now, I'm sure that you're probably shouting...'You moved 3 years ago and it only occurred to you now to get an oven thermometer?' You might be screaming 'WHAT? That's THE FIRST thing I do when I move into a new place!' Or maybe 'You freakin' idiot of COURSE it's the oven!

And yes, for the record I'm very sure someone from the Ministry of the Bleedin' Obvious will be ringing any moment now to give me my formal dressing down. But it did only occur to me a mere month ago to get an oven thermometer. And let me tell you, this little baby has saved my sanity, if not my life. I now know that my oven runs 15 whole degrees cooler than what it should and my thermometer tells me just when it is perfectly ready to bake whatever I want. Oven thermometer, I salute you.

So i've got my baking mojo back, and there will be many cakes, breads and perfectly browned plump cookies in our future. And although I may be a bit slow on the uptake, I got there in the end. It turns out all this baking and cooking, and cooking and baking has learned me a few things; use your noggin, and get an oven thermometer, for God's sake.

It is also fact that most resolutions are dead in the water by March, if not earlier.

So by my calculations, if you are trying to change something you don’t like and fail within a measly 8-12 weeks aren’t you going to feel even worse about whatever it is you wanted to change in the first place and de facto feel worse about yourself?

AWESOME way to start the year.

I don’t know about you but its god damn hard for me to change. I am the quintessential old dog. I am not just stuck in my ways, I’m practically cemented with a human-sized vat of extra hold super glue. But the nagging little Darwinist voice in my head keeps saying…Evolve! Move on! Get some new skills! Or be left behind… And my ridiculously competitive perfectionist ‘must be the best at everything’ voice says ‘Do it NOW or you could be a Loser who is LEFT BEHIND, or worse, this might cause you to DIE’. But let’s not go there that’s a whole other set of neurosis.   

So making changes might be hard for me, but here’s my method, tried and true:

1. Make a decision to make a change. Whatever it might be, there’s no good in just knowing you ought to do something. You are far better off knowing you will do it. Even if it takes a very long time.
2. Start learning. Research everything and anything you can about what it is you want to change and how other people are doing it. I think one of the biggest problems people have when making a change is attempting only one way of getting the job done. For me, it is usually several solutions and often more than one attempt that gets me to the result I’m after.
3. Commit fully, but break it down into very small steps. One of my favorite authors SARK has a method called 'Micromovements', and its a really great method to get moving and keep moving towards a seemingly monumental task. Just break whatever it is down into teeny tiny steps and move at your own pace. Need to write a 10,000 word term paper? You have to turn on your computer first. 
4. Adjust along the way. We all know L.I.F.E. happens. So rather than let it fuck up your big plans, make a few adjustments and keep going. It really is that simple.
5. See it through. I am a Completer / Finisher / Virgo ('nuf said) so an unfinished project will linger in my mind, forever. If you are lucky enough to just let things go then good for you! But you will thank yourself if you do whatever it is you set out to, even if your result only lasts one minute the self satisfaction will last at least five.
6. Be kind, Rewind. If you do fuck it up somewhere along the line, be nice to yourself. And Repeat Step 1.

So this year I will resolve to never resolve again and I think you should go ahead and use this method as your own. At the very least, bookmark this page so you can return to it in March.  

I got married this year, which you probably know. I hope you don’t take it personally cus’ you’ll always be my number one guy in a (red) suit. But I must say that I do love my husband very much, even if sometimes he does act like the Grinch.

Along with all the good that has happened this year, there has been a lot of sad things happen. Life has been mean to many people this year. I think you are probably the man to help fix it up Santa.

So this year please will you put these things under my tree:

1. Deep and fulfilling happiness for every member of my family.
2. Let my Mom’s cancer be in remission, forever.
3. Keep my Dad healthy. He still hasn’t quit smoking.
4. Whoop my Dad’s ass a little bit for not quitting smoking.
5. Help my husband and I have a happy, healthy, and importantly very fun first year of marriage.
6. Keep my friends, and their friends safe and sound.
7. Economic Upturn.
8. World Peace.
9. Le Creuset Grill Pan.
10. A pony.

So just in case you need further proof, I would like to tell you that I eat my vegetables every day. I know i should probably eat more fruit, so cross my heart and all that jazz, I will eat more fruit this year...promise.

Please please please please please please please Santa don't forget anything.

Love Always,

Audrey xoxoxoxoxo

p.s. I’ll leave you some kickass cookies and milk too, and some carrots for Rudolph and the boys.

Image Courtesy of Time Magazine

Jamie and I started buying each other books at every holiday when that was about the only thing we could afford, and we've continued that even as our bank accounts have grown. When we have kids sometime in the NEXT TEN YEARS (Hi Mom!!) they will have lots of books too and that’s just the way we roll in the Taylor house.

So seeing as crazy is never in short supply around here, I thought the 'Big Badass Book Challenge' might be a bit of fun. That is, I found the 50 Greatest Novels of All Time according to the Telegraph and I shall now be reading them ALL. 

For the next 10 years.

Now, I understand that the 50 Greatest Novels of All Time is a bit of a sweeping statement, and one that will be vehemently criticized by all of you Book-ies out there. That's Book-ie, like Foodie, unlike Bookie (he who runs off with your cash and goes to Key West with his mafia friends), but I digress.

For one, 'All Time' hasn't even happened yet, and I'm willing to bet that there will be some damn good novels in all of our futures. So this is more the reading of the Greatest Novels written before 2010.

And two, what makes the Telegraph the ONLY authority on the 50 Greatest Novels? Well, they're not the only one by any stretch, they're just the one I've chosen for this. And that is really the simplicity of it. Ain't nuthin' more than that.

Lucky for me I've read quite a few of these little beauties already so I guess my love of books has given me a built-in advantage, however since I’m also a Type A / OCD / Completer / Finisher I’ll probably re-read them just because it won't be 'the same' if I don't. So with that in mind here's the list. Someone call the authorities, I think I need to be committed.